Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Into the swirling depth, dark

[Song] of the day: O Fortuna -  Latin Goliardic Poem

I created those characters as a relief from life.
Now they're darker than I expected them to be.
Hikari is suffering PTSD and Multiple Personality disorder. Things begin to happen because of jealousy, and not the idealised love. Nao is starting to take a sadistic turn, and everything starts to scare me.
But I love them. Not for what they are now, but for who they are.
I'm quite twisted.
But they are like my children. I created them.
It feels like they're trying to escape life by slowly killing themselves. I don't know if this a reflection of my mind, or they are really getting out of my control.
Hopefully it's neither. Maybe it's just my imagination running because of the things I've read. The older I get, the more my mind thinks that no, this idealistic world will not survive with all its ideals. Something must be sacrificed for a happy ending. Now the majority of them is losing their minds.
The younger characters are retaining their innocence, though. Some turns a bit more teenager-istic, but overall, things around them are quite mild. Nothing compares to Hikari and her split personality, Nao's sadistic and suicidal tendencies, and the psychological problems that surrounds the soldiers of State of Balance.
Speaking of which, I've been talking about characters nobody knew, didn't I? Well, I piled the characters on a blog, Calculated.

I didn't have time to write today. People kept on interrupting me, which meant pissing me off badly, because it's almost bed-time and I have yet to write much on this blog post. It sure looks like much, but it's barely 300 words. And I want me to get used to writing at least 1000 words today. Well, it's a start. On October, I'll go crazier.

My sister's birthday is today. That's sort of why I don't have time to write. Also, school work took away my recess, so no brainstorming time either. It sucks. It's Wednesday. Two more days before it's weekend and I could get some actual nice sleep. I really need that. My lack of sleep is getting in the way with inspirations, I simply can't get my muse to talk to me about workable inspirations. I get some images all right, but nothing I could bend around to create a short story out of it.

Going on to the darker topics, do you know the war is starting? Israel's controlling people with media and investments on various countries. Sweet, sweet life. I actually asked about the Islamic signs of Apocalypse to my Religion teacher. It didn't take me 30 seconds to know what he was about to say. It's chilling all right, but I expected it. All the things that happened didn't happen because someone felt like doing it for kicks. Everything is planned from the start, but we have the freedom of choice.

Memento mori.
Mortality isn't a weakness. Being humans is okay. In fact, I applaud you for not committing suicide. Humans are pretty much doomed, except those who happen to be in the right religion and committed themselves to the religion. Just remember your death and the Apocalypse and the weighting of your sins and all that.

I bought myself tomatoes. They're lovely. I like to refer them as Mi tomatita.

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